Brief Conversations: Mistake
by sweetlolixo
Summary: Part of a series of one-shots centering on 3 conflicting couples. Puck/Quinn have a brief conversation with each other, because the past eventually catches up with your heart and soul. For the first time in his life, Puck felt like he could actually cry.


**Title: **Brief Conversations: Everything (1/3)

**Author: sweetlolixo**

**Pairing: Puck/Quinn** (for this chapter), Santana/Brittany, Karofsky/Kurt

**Rating:** PG

**Word Count: **1813

**Spoilers: **End of Season 2 "Original Song"

**Summary: **_There is a sorry for everything._ Three one-shots centering on three conflicting couples. Each have their brief conversations with each other – because sooner or later, the past will catch up with you, not only to your mind, but to your heart and soul. _I'm sorry._ You know the most heartbreaking thing? Nothing will still change a thing.

Puck/Quinn

_- Everything_

Puck wonders.

He wonders, because she never once gave a damn about him.

At least not after their baby. It was almost as if they had been reduced from secret, star-struck lovers to just mere strangers. When _really_, all that happened between them couldn't be described as nothing. _Nothing_ was an understatement. _Everything_ fit them more. **Everything**.

Not like Puck cared, though. It was up to the cheerleader to decide what she wanted to do with their relationship, because even after all that he's done to her, Puck doesn't feel as if he has a say – a right - with _them_ anymore. It's perfectly fine if Quinn were to ignore him and give him the cold shoulder for the rest of his lifetime. He didn't deserve anything else. Puck had done all sorts of outrageous acts before, but he could honestly say betraying Finn with Quinn was the biggest mistake he had ever committed. The baby wasn't, though – it _wasn't,_ because the baby was a life he had brought into this world, and he wasn't going to deny such a beautiful life of its existence. He made it, and he wasn't going to take it back. And then there was the small part of him that adored the baby because the mother hadn't been anyone else. It had been Quinn, for god's sake. She was ultimately gorgeous, the epitome of perfection, the girl people could only dream of being with. She used to be_ everything_. And she could be the perfect mother, but the time hadn't been right. And Puck had stolen that from her.

That's why Puck deserved _everything_, now.

Of course he's not heartbroken – what are _you_ thinking? He's set his eyes on Lauren now, because she was all Quinn hadn't been. She was strong, brave, and Puck realises that he needs someone tougher than him now, because he knows he_ isn't _strong enough. If there was a lesson that he learnt from his relationship with Quinn – it was that he wasn't strong enough to bear the consequences. He needed to be the shoulder to lean on, the fatherly figure the baby needed, the man Quinn had expected him to be, but he hadn't – couldn't; he had failed in fulfilling that. Puck just wasn't strong enough, despite his contradicting character. He would rather _die _to admit this, but it was true. And Puck wasn't going to risk that chance anymore. He needed to find himself, first. He needed to find the person he wanted, and needed to be. A person _man _enough to face his mistakes. And he needed someone to teach him that. Lauren had been the perfect person. Of course, he isn't _just_ using Lauren. He really liked that fact about her, and he found that his admiration had ran deeper than he had originally thought. He never felt this way before; he couldn't confirm it was love, but he could confirm he found the person that he needed to help him move on.

Still, it didn't stop him from wondering.

Because the blonde – however distant they were now; she had a connection with Puck like no other. They had created a new life. They had given her a name. _Beth_. She was theirs, but also not theirs. She was the bond that would never break. She was_ their_ bond. _Their _shared connection. _Their _love.

Puck rubbed his eyes a little.

He should stop sitting in the choir room alone, thinking about ridiculous things like these. Really, it made him feel – and look – _pathetic_. And he wasn't just about to give away his tough appearance just because of... this. He needed to be strong.

Part of him knew this was because he still clung onto something, though...

Hope.

Hope, because as long as Beth still existed out there – Puck was a father. A father had responsibilities. A father... also had a mother. _Quinn_. And then there was the perfect family Puck had always wanted.

"Nice, Puckerman."

He hadn't even realised the cheerleader had entered the choir room and had taken her seat right in front of him until he heard that familiar snapping of her voice.

"Hey," he started off softly, but then he realised the blonde wasn't interested in listening. He wanted to venture further, but he hesitated. The blonde had every right to do this. The blonde had every right to treat him like _nothing_.

"I didn't realise you could actually sit down for a while and _think_."

"Hey," he repeated, his voice louder this time; "No need for the insults."

"Mmm, yeah. Too late for any thinking now, anyway." The distinct resentment in her voice made him cringe.

Puck just stared at the blonde's back figure, knowing she was probably rolling her eyes at him in distate right now. So much for _hoping_.

"Did you even remember Beth's birthday?"

Quinn's voice startled Puck. He hadn't expected her to speak to him. Not this much, at least, ever since the time at the hospital. Still, her voice was angry, and Puck didn't really like dealing with angry girls. He always caused them to end in tears, without doing anything; really. He wouldn't like Quinn to cry. He's had enough with hurting, both himself and her.

"Yeah." Puck didn't know how to respond. Maybe if he went gentler, she wouldn't feel as aggravated. As... upset. But it was the truth, either way – he _did _remember Beth's birthday. It passed not too long ago, too, and he had wanted to do something for her.

But he didn't.

He wondered if Quinn did.

"Well, good." The blonde muttered darkly. She shifted uneasily in her seat. "Just thought I'd let you know that she's happy, you know. Ms Corcoran sent me a letter. Just thought you'd want to know."

"That's great." Puck found himself smiling. Wow, that was weird. Feeling happy like this again. The tingly feeling he got whenever he thought of Beth. She must be happy now. With her new mother, and everything. She _should _be happy. Not like her birth parents, miserable like this.

"It's so funny, isn't it?" Quinn continued, and Puck wondered if she was actually – _sincerely_ - laughing. "Beth was a mistake."

His heart halted. "Mistake?" A deep frown replaced the small smile before. Beth had been anything but that._That_. Beth was perfect. Beth was theirs. Beth was everything, _everything_ but a mistake.

"You were a mistake. Beth was a mistake. We were a mistake. I can't believe I let you make my mistakes for me." She sounded almost mocking.

Puck struggled to contain his anger as he looked on at the blonde. No – not anger, it's just pure heartbreak, really. Heartbreak, because he hadn't thought it was a mistake. Quinn and Beth weren't mistakes. He didn't like to think of himself a mistake. He liked to think of them as a whole, complete, and everything. They were everything. Everything to him, so why wasn't Quinn realising that?

"Beth wasn't a mistake, Quinn."

"She so was!" The blonde yells, and in an instant she's gotten up from her seat, turned around to face the man she _absolutely_ hated with every inch of her life.

Quinn's light green eyes bored into Puck's dark chocolate one's. He saw the hatred, all the blaming, the fear, and lastly the sadness. They felt like a mirror. They felt like an exact replica of his; his eyes, the ones that he saw everyday in his own mirror, his broken gaze he felt as he scrutinised them every morning. It wasn't _fair_. Quinn deserved everything else but this. He was supposed to be the one hurting, not her. He was supposed to have already taken that spot. That responsibility. The last he could have done for _her_. Quinn was supposed to be happy, now. Happy, away from all these mistakes. Quinn was perfect.

And he hadn't expected to be the one to break that perfection of hers.

"You're a mistake, Puckerman, you're a fucking big mistake!" With her voice crackling in pure contempt, Quinn found herself kicking at the chairs violently, thrashing them about mindlessly and even lifting one up to aim at Puck's direction. "You broke my heart, and then you tore my life apart. What a _mistake_!"

That piece of broken heart.

Puck understood now.

Quinn was as fragile as Puck was. And that was enough. Puck needed to know only that. He just needed to know that Quinn cared as much as he did. He just needed that last piece of broken heart. _Quinn cared. _That was enough, for now. Quinn wasn't ignoring him for all he was worth. Quinn had been as heartbroken as he was, and Quinn had been as weak.

_Hit me_, he whispers, and he shuts his eyes for what is to come. _Hit me for all I deserve._

"Quinn?" Mr. Schuester's voice interrupts abruptly, and the next thing Puck knows, when he's fully opened his eyes again, he sees their glee instructor pulling the blonde to a side. Her hair was in a deranged mess, her face was red and crying, her eyes fluttering close and her mouth gasping for air. Her hands trembled as they loosened their grip on the chair she meant to hit him with.

Puck watched as it fell to the ground with a resounding thud.

"What are you both doing in choir room attacking each other like this?"

"Mistake," hearing her sweet voice melt into barely audible whispers as they shook with each decibel of her sobbing shattered Puck's very own soul; "Mistake..."

Puck could only watch as Mr. Schuester gradually enveloped the blonde in his arms, soothing her down as she hiccuped every tear. That was _unfair_. Puck needed to be there. He needed to be the person Quinn had needed before, and he needed to be the person Quinn needed now.

He couldn't forsake any of his responsibilities anymore...

"Was it all a mistake, Quinn?" Mr. Schuester didn't seem to understand the situation very well; but Puck had to give him credit for trying. Puck hadn't expected Quinn to respond to this question. She never responded, why of all now? But she did, with her angelic voice drowning in all the sorrow Puck never thought Quinn ever had;

"No..."

Her green eyes were twinkling in tears never seen before now. Tears that reminded him of everything they had ever been, everything they had ever lost. The perfection, and the used-to-be's. _She used to tell me she loved me,_ Puck thought, and then he did realise something now.

What a_ mistake_.

For the first time in his life, Puck felt like he could actually cry.


End file.
